Scum of the fandom
by opalwolf12
Summary: Don't read this. It's the stupidest thing ever. It will give you mouth herpes.


"ERIDAN! WWHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" Screeched Dualscar, upon seeing Eridans mess.

"I-I wwas masturbating with Sollux," Eridan sobbed, bee stings all over his face and body. "H-he didn't tell me he ejactulated BEES." Dualscar facepalmed with the intensity of several microwave ovens. "Surely you jest!" Sollux walked out of the bathroom in his gay-ass My Little Pony underwear. "Hey Eri, you ready for round 2?" "No in not ready! Im in need of medical attention! Im alergic to bees!" Wept Eridan, who was swelling up like a giant inflatable pikachu giving birth to human children. "CRONUS! TAKE ERIDAN'S WHINY BITCH ASS TO THE HOSPIAL!" shouted Dualscar.

"But Eridan, you thaid you were only allergic to waspth! YOU FUCKNG LIAR!" Sollux screamed, having a seizure from the mind honey they had used as lube for their sexual stuff. "OH FUCK CRONUS TAKE EVERYONE TO THE GOG DAMN HOSPITAL IM HAVVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK." Dualscar hacked like a cat throwing up a hairball. "Bunch ah' fuckin retards..." grumbled Cronus as he dragged everyones twitching bodies to the gay ass minivan that matched Sollux's underwear.

~elsewere~

"Nepeta... are you certain that this is a good idea? said an uncertain Kanaya. "How could skydiving be a bad idea?"

"y-yEAH, nEPETA, iM iN a wHEELCHAIR, i-I dUNNO." Tavros whined like a little bitch as Nepeta attacked his parachute to the arms of his wheelchair. Thank gog he had a seatbelt, he guessed. Nepeta simply smiled and rolled Tavros out of the plane.

Tavros screamed as his seatbelt snapped because he was so fat. "OHSHITIMFAAAAAAAT."He yelled, right before Rufio saved him from falling to his death. But he was just too fat. Rufios wings failed, leaving two trolls falling to their death instead of one.

And then Superman (who, of course, was sitting on a cloud with Batman having an english muffin and a latte) was like "Aw hell, them bitchez too fat." So he just sat drinking his coffee, not giving a shit about the screaming trolls.

"Nepeta, you took out two lowb100ds in one go. I am impressed." "Gee, thanks Equius!"

And then Nepeta pushed Equius out of the plane, who masturbated the whole way until he opened his parachute and jizzed everywhere on Tavro's and Rufio's dead, bleeding bodies, which was sexy to Equius so he jizzed again later on Gamzee's head, who thought it was magical sky mayonnaise and put it on a sandwich. "GAMZEE, WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT MAYO BLUE!" Screamed karkat, in his large camaro. "iT's NoT nOrMaL mAyO, bEsT fRiEnD," Gamzee smiled, Equius's jizz all in his teeth and tongue. "It'S mOtHeRfUcKiNg MaGiCaL. iT fElL fRoM tHe SkY aNd I wAs LiKe 'WhOa, MaYo.'"

Equius suddenly landed in front of Karkat's bigass camaro, looking at the soft Karkat and then he made a horrible, frightening suprised face when he saw Gamzee eating the sandwich that was dripping with 'blue mayonnaise'.

"D - Highb100d! I **strongly** recomend that you cease eating that sandwich!"

"WhY tHe MoThErFuCk NoT, EqIbRo?"Gamzee said derpily.

"D - uhh.." Equius started sweating profusley.

And then Karkat threw up. "D - OH 100K KARKAT IS SICK WE BETTER TAKE HIM T0 THE H0SPITAL." Gamzee shrugged, pulling a Faygo out of his asshair. "oH oKaY eQuBrO." And so they hopped into Karkat's big, big camaro and drove to the hospital, where Sollux, Cronus, Dualscar, and Eridan were all being hospital-ed.

"WhAt tHe MoThErFuCk HaPpEnEd tO YoU GuYs?" asked gamzee. "Eridan and Sollux were fillin' buckets but Sollux ejactulates bees and Eridan is alergic. Sollux ate the mind honey that they were usin' as lube and Dualscar had an athsma attack from the stupidity of the whole deal. No biggie."

"DONT TELL THEM THE GOGDAMN TRUTH, CRONUTH!" Sollux flailed angrily, clearly over his little seizure/temper tantrum. Dr. Dave slapped Equius's ass, effectively breaking all the bones in his hand.

Then Sollux turned around and tried to murder Dr. Dave while Gamzee STILL ate his sandwich, sweat just pouring down Equius's face. It was a very large sandwich. Karkat had tried to explain multiple times to the oblivious Gamzee, but Equius punched him in the face in the car to save himself the embarassment, so he mightve killed him.

Tiny Tavros and Rufio were in the beds next to them, covered head to toe in bandages, appearantly not dead after the horrible plane experience. Nepeta and Kanaya stood next to them, clearly upset that they mightve killed the poor wheelchair kid and gayass Rufio.

"WH47 7H3 FUCK H4PP3ND 70 Y0U D1CK W4DS?!" Screeched the highly unqualified Dr. Nurse Mituna.

"I just explained it, Mituna-" Cronus said.

"N0!" Mituna screeched, flailing angrily and hitting himelf in the face and crotch And then Dr. Dave slapped Dr. nurse Mituna's ass and broke his other hand. "Why are these asses so fucking hard!" He screamed and jumped out a window.

"hEy BrO, wAnT sOmE mAgIc MaYo?" Gamzee offered Mituna,who accepted it and shoved it in his mouth, screaming. Half-dead Karkat threw up and Dualscar hacked some more in the room over and moaned after humping Dr. Weedwacker. (_somewhere else, hussie cried from the pure retardedness of the fandom and shot himself in the dick.) _Nurse Aradia was not happy with the dumb fucks that made up the rest of the staff, so she clocked out and went on to join Terezi in getting a law degree. fuck yeah troll lawyers.

_*four months later*_

"hEy EqUiBrO, rEmEmBeR tHaT tImE i AtE yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg JiZz AnD tHoUgHt It WaS mAyOnAiSe? gOoD mOtHeRfUcKiN tImEs." Gamzee sighed as he ate a sandwich. Equius almost cried and punched himself in the face. And Karkat did the Harlem Shake with pure anger.

Professor John sqeezed the plush rumps. All of them. Every rump was squeezed. Dirk sobbed tears of liquid pride.

"Vriska is that a dog? That is a dog why you do has dog?" "Fucking retard. I mean seeeeeeeeriously, Fefiri. I got it last week. With Roxy. Dumb ho made me get a shitty dog. It cant even FLARP!"

The dog barked out happy nonsense barks, his tail derpily wagging and happy. It sounded somewhat like a train wreck. And the Kira killed it and everyone cried. (_suddenly death note) "_Oooooooh shit... My shitty pet just... Fucking died! How lame is that!" "Do you need a hug? Glub." "No Im glad that stupid thing died! I had enough prolems feeding spidermom, I did NOT need a dog."

"WELL FUCK YOU TOO." Said Kira as he swooped down and shanked tiny Vriska's tiny bitch ass.

SO KARKAT YOU WANNA SEX?"

WHY NOT ME?I SEX EVERY TIME.

FUCK. THAT IS MUCH SEX TIME.

Scalemates are fabulous. Look at them. Rest your mind in these puddles of deightfull plush fun.

And they lived happily ever after.

THE END


End file.
